Grace

Grace: 2009

Modern horror is a hit and a miss. What seems to be popular is remakes of classics we used to love, but these remakes are really fucking terrible. Classics like Halloween, Friday the 13th, Last house on the left and many others destroyed by mainstream Hollywood. Todays generation doesn't deserve the past, they deserve their own brand of films. The problem with that is todays entertainment kinda took a turn for the worst, making celebrities out of reality tv to internet people and the heavy use of CGI which makes movies lazier. You can see that when a new horror movie comes out thats not a remake it's really gotta struggle to get its praise. 2009s Grace is not only hard to watch but it's a beautiful film on ones women struggle of motherhood.

Meet Madeline, a hip vegan women who is pregnant and desperately wants this baby. Madeline wants to have this child with a midwife (with who I think had a lesbian affair with in college) but her mother-in-law refuses it because shes a WASP cunt. When Madeline gets in a car accident leaving her husband and unborn child dead she looses her mind and decides to carry the baby to term. When the time comes to deliver Madeline lays in a hot tub filled with her own blood and her dead child. After willing it back to life Madeline is ecstatic to finally have a child, but every blessing has its burden. This newborn named Grace is attracting flies, shes losing hair and bruising easily, and worst of all shes not eating. Madeline ignores the fact her child is a zombie and lets a series of horrific events happen.

Grace gives the feeling of Rosemary's Baby just without the satanism. Both share similarities in the fact that whats supposed to be the most happiest time in a women's life turns out completely terrible and that despite their children being monsters they still care for them with love. It's a feminists horror film, you watch Madeline being a mother the best she can and her mother-in-law struggle with the death of her son and breast feeding, and you see the mid-wife cope with the fact her lesbian lover is married and comes to the rescue. Women here are seen in an honest light and it doesn't shy away from feminist concepts.

You can achieve an excellent horror movie without heavy amounts of violence and CGI. Granted a violent bloody slasher film is always great but you need a break from them once in a while. The gore was at a minimum and it technically wasn't scary, just uncomfortable to watch. If you're a man who doesn't want his girlfriend to ever get pregnant this is the movie to watch. Love it or hate it Grace is a wonderful film to watch.

Surf Nazi's Must Die

Ok i know its been way to long since i posted in this awful thing and im sorry. A blog is like owning a dog, its fun at first and then you forget about it and watch it die slowly...hopefully I can bring this blog back to life. My new focus will be reviewing or talking about classic Camp, Grindhouse movies....My goal is to make these wonderfully terrible movies seem golden. So enjoy with this first review on a great film




SURF NAZIS MUST DIE: 1987

If you ever went to a video store and saw this movie on the shelf you would think "hey this looks interesting", but if your one of those people who reads reviews before they rent or watch a movie then you will know that this movie had terrible reviews. Most exploitation films have this problem, they get awful reviews but have a wide-span cult audience. Critics have called this movie "Boring", "Hard to follow", "Terrible acting" and so on but with a name like SURF NAZIS MUST DIE what do you expect. When you really look at it (like I did) you will see how great this movie is when it comes to plot and idea. You have to also love the fact that its from TROMA and you can always get a good time from them. Its like buying a whore, you know its bad for you but you will have the best time.

This movie begins in the future where an earthquake leaves the California coastline in ruins and for some reason has the beaches ruled by chaos and gangs. One gang that not only rules the beaches but other gangs are called the Surf Nazis. The Surf Nazis are cruel and take advantage of this disaster by robbing people, killing off rival gangs and surfing. Meanwhile a man named Leroy takes his "Mama" to a retirement home because when your parents reach a certain age that is the appropriate thing to do. When the Surf Nazis make the mistake of killing Leroy his "Mama" goes batshit and kills off these honkey neo-nazis the only way an old black lady can do it....Brutally.

One great thing I loved about this movie was the surfer gangs. Not only did you have the Surf Nazis who have the obvious nicknames like Adolf and Eva but you had other rival themed gangs like the Designer Wave who were the typical 80s new wavers and the obvious stereotypical Asian gang who know kung-fu. It's a power struggle on who will own the beach and who will get to surf, sure it sounds ridiculous but even beaches need gangs. Why should bars and inner-cities have all the fun.

Another thing thats good and you never really find in mainstream movies is a woman taking matters into her own hands. And were talking about an old black lady who goes out to avenge her son. Alot of these old movies had women being the heroes and not being offensive about it, it shows the true power of a woman when you piss her off. Mainstream Hollywood fails at feminism, but grindhouse Hollywood finds a way to make it work even when it doesn't seem like it. When casting either old woman or black woman or both you usually see them as victim and have to feel bad for them, Not Leroy's Mama, she does what a woman should do when her child is murdered by surfer gangs...and thats kill them. Im not promoting female vigilante-ism, im just saying I applaud this movie for doing so.

Finally, the soundtrack was awesomely 80s which is a plus, the violence was excellent....How many times do you see people get killed by surf boards and speed boats. Thats another thing that worked out well, limited use of a gun, there is so many ways to kill someone why limit yourself with a gun. Granted the acting was terrible but who cares, this was still an enjoyable movie. Give SURF NAZIS MUST DIE a chance....it's not Oscar gold, but it is a good time.